Things that an ice cream girl should know, but does not

1. The names of the artificial  sweeteners in the no sugar added ice creams (it's ice cream; accept it)
2. How many scoops are in each size (however many I can put on without making it fall over)
3. The specific flavours of Spumoni (all I know is Italian, disgusting and something bitter)
4. Why the chocolate soft serve machine is always broken (witchcraft, probably)
5. How much hot fudge is safe to put on a sundae before it melts it into a sloppy mess
6. How many squirts of flavour to add to a slushie 
7. How to explain patiently what the difference is between hard and soft serve ice cream (seriously, everyone should know.)
8. What the ingredients are in Dairy Queen's ice cream (if I wanted to know, I would have applied there)

Please stop asking.