All for the oreos

Early on in the shift, it was clear that we weren’t going to be busy. The clouds hung low, casting a dreary atmosphere on the asphalt outside. I dragged my feet into work and was almost immediately sent out again.

“There’s a sale at Walmart!” my manager cried in excitement. “Cookies are 4$!”

Despite his up-front enthusiasm, I sighed and accepted his hastily written list of supplies.

-4 oreos

4 golden oreos

-4 fudgeeos

-4 value packs of smarties

-4 value packs of reese’s pieces

-a bag of milk

-a bunch of bananas

I hoisted the makeshift fabric grocery bag from the wall and kicked open the back door.

The cookies were all stacked up at the entrance of the department store. Wary, I grabbed a grocery cart from the front and started counting out the stacks of cookies. I shifted my coat to hide my uniform. It was a lot more entertaining to pretend they were all for me. 

Once I’d carted around the store to find the rest of the goods, I rounded to the register. While waiting, I arranged the cookies in a more aesthetic manner. After all, I was being paid to do something. 

I approached the register and piled on the merchandise. My hand reached into my pocket to grasp the bills I’d taken from my manager. I watched the numbers on the display transform as the stock was scanning through. As I saw the figures skim across the register, I realized how light my pile of cash happened to be: $60. I held my breath for the total. $78.21. I didn’t have enough. 

I drew in my breath, realizing how classy it was to be buying $78 worth of candy that I didn’t have the cash to pay for. I made a deal with the cashier. 

Determined, I tightened up my visor and ran full tilt back to my place of employment. On the way, through my huffing and puffing, I made a call to my manager at the store. “I need more money. Have it ready.”

He handed me the bills with a chuckle and an apologetic smile. Immediately, I turned around and fled once more. Again at Walmart, I found my way back to the cashier storing the stuff and shoved her the extra bills.

I was then presented with the next dilemma. I had 5 bags of candy and 2 arms to carry it. There was only one way to do it: like a boss. Silent with determination, I loaded the bags on my forearms and arched my back forward. Like that, I ran with posture similar to an ostrich all the way back to the store. With reddened arms and aching fingers, I dumped it on the counter.

Anything is possible when there are Oreos involved.